November 5, 2011
What do we really need? It’s a question that we rarely stop to ask ourselves. We live in a society so caught up in consumerism that we tend to think in terms of want. But what do we really need? Shelter. In the form of a two bedroom, 800 square feet apartment or a four-bedroom two-bath 1700 square feet home with a yard, washer/dryer, and beautifully spacious kitchen, don’t forget the fireplace. If I want to have another child then really three bedrooms would suffice. Even then many have two children in a two-bedroom home. So what do I want versus what I need. I just spent the last week house hunting not in New York City. So the idea of space suddenly seems imperative. If I can have a little more, why not a lot more? But what is truly necessary? A baby wouldn’t know the difference. However, my son would like a yard. His input on the whole thing.
Of course, once you get a house then you need to fill it. Right now I think I have more things than I need, yet if I moved to a big house I’d simply need the right furniture and the right accessories. So there are more “things” that I would surround myself with that I may or may not need. Admittedly a washer/dryer would be a wonderful necessity. But the espresso machine my husband wants would not be a necessity. Especially, since he drinks espresso about once a month.
Walk in to a Target, Macy’s, Bloomies, anywhere really and you are surrounded by things you must have. Aside from the grocery store, really, how much of what we purchase is a “must?” Don’t get me wrong we work hard to buy these “things” to live in pretty places, to surround ourselves with what makes us happy. I often fall into the trap of retail therapy too. But how much of what we buy really makes us happy? How much could we do without? How much better off would we be spending time instead of money?
These are questions I’ve been asking myself because New York is an expensive place to live. The basics for most people may be extras to us. I live here because I like the lifestyle. And shopping for a house outside of this city is not just a change of location, but really a complete change of lifestyle. So why I may be able to afford more, I will no longer be able to walk out my front door and stroll to the corner for groceries, amazing fruit and veggie stands, drug stores, restaurants galore, and a train to take me anywhere in the city. What I will get instead is more space for less money. Which in turn will allow me to spend more money on things to fill that space. Not that that doesn’t sound like fun, but it’s overwhelming too.
Lucky for me I don’t have to choose right now. We have no intention to move for at least a couple of years, if at all. The house will belong to our renters once we buy it. Would it be enough to own a house even if we never live in it? Let that house help pay for our lifestyle here.
So I come back to the question, What do we really need and is that enough? After the basics shelter, food, etc. there is love. And after that what? What makes us truly happy? Perhaps it is each other. So, why are we so driven by things? The attainment of objects seems to be a bigger driving force than the attainment of personal fulfillment. Achievement comes in many forms, but it seems monetary is the most notable in our society. I succumb to this as well. The want of money, the want of things, but really once in-a-while I think it’s important to step back and really ask what will make you happy. Yes, it may be a Mercedes. But if I look deeper there’s usually something more to it. There’s instant happiness in things, there’s long term joy in finding what you really need for you. It’s a longer journey, and why not take it in nice clothes, but when it comes down to finding your real smile I’m betting it’s something that cannot be bought, but rather earned or experienced.
